And So The Harvest Begins

ONE HOPE

Today John received high dose Cyclophosphamide for stem cell harvest given by intravenous infusion. It is given to make your bone marrow produce a large amount of stem cells.In a few days he will be receiving G-CSF or growth factor injections (STEMGEN AND NEUPOGEN INJECTIONS) to also help the bone marrow produce stem cells. He has to start a regime of pre-meds to get ready for those injections. These consist of two common meds: Reactine and Renetadine. He will also be taking Ventilane (asthma inhaler) This is to prevent a dire reaction to the injections.Tomorrow he will be receiving intravenous fluid to help the kidneys get rid of the cyclo. He was given anti-nausea meds at the clinic and to take at home. He seems to be doing O.K. in this regard.The Cyclo. can irritate the lining of the bladder and is hard on the kidneys. (it seems that all of the treatments are hard on the kidneys) He is supposed to pee as often as he can think of it so the cyclo. doesn't stay over long in the bladder. The blood cell counts will bottom out again around day 8. The growth factor given on day 6 after the chemo should help the counts come up faster so I hope he is not neutropenic for very long. If he gets a fever he will have to be admitted onto the hospital for sure.

So...What are the main concerns in this stage of his treatment? !. Infections 2. Kidneys 3. Bladder 4. Allergic reaction 5. low platelets (thin blood) It is nice that he can be at home although I do find it stressful. I have been having bad dreams. I dreamed that I had gone home for awhile and when I got back to the treatment room they had moved him and when I found him he was hooked up to bags and bags and bags of I.V. solutions... When they start pumping all this stuff into him and you know the risks it is just plain scary! Sometimes I have a sick feeling in my gut...sometimes I am crying more again...and then I also see all the other cancer patients...eyes full of fear,hope and uncertainty. They are like photographs in my head. So much sorrow and pain. So many sweet people in for the fight of their lives. Some will live and some are going to die. There is nothing that I can do except pray and cry. You feel so helpless. The best way to describe this feeling is : imagine yourself standing in front of a mirror and somebody comes along and hits it, It shatters into a billion fragments. You can no longer see yourself or anything else.

Thank goodness there are moments of hope and encouragement. On Monday a lady came through the cancer center and gave flowers to all the patients there. She does this every year on her birthday, She has been doing this for eighteen years. She is a cancer survivor. I have named the flower: One Hope! The next few months are going to be very hard... bitter sweet...a long road...